No mother will want to see their child struggling with substance abuse. However, as a mum, you are not responsible for the decisions that your adult children make. Even though it is difficult to see your kids hurting, remember that you can be of help to them. Here are things that you can do when dealing with kids addicted to drugs or alcohol.
You should let your child know that addiction was their own choice and not yours. Therefore, they placed themselves in the situation that they are in now. Explain to them that addiction is not an accident or bad luck but a conscious decision. You should also let your child know that their addiction or bad behavior affects not just them, their professional and social circles, but also the entire family
Allow your kids to learn from experience
Mums should avoid bailing their kids out of problems resulting from their addiction. This is because it encourages the children to continue with their addiction because they know that consequences will be handled by the parents. Facing consequences such as bad credit scores, job loss or an eviction is a good lesson for a child and will enable them to learn from the problems they have created for themselves.
Love yourself and your child
As a mum, you should love yourself as you are not responsible for bad choices made by your children. Therefore, you should unconditionally love yourself and accept limits of your parenting roles as your children mature. You should also love your child by allowing him/her to be responsible for his/behavior. You should also refuse to give your kids the power to dismantle the entire family. Instead help them to find the right drug addiction treatment clinic when they are ready to get help.
Do not be an enabler
Parents have an inbuilt desire to protect their daughters and sons from things that are harming them. Therefore, parents would do anything to remove emotional or physical pain from their children. Most parents would do anything to solve the addiction problem regardless of the costs. This is because of the love that parents have for their addicted children. This is the reason why recovering addicts, sponsors, police, treatment counselors, pastors, corrections and probation, officers can assist addicts in their recovery better than parents can.
You cannot fix the problem
Addiction is a personal problem that can only be fixed by the addict. Addiction recovery help can only be effective if the addict is determined to heal. Therefore, the addiction will only end the moment the addicted child decides that he/she wants to end it. If you make decisions for your addicted child, you will become more frustrated and in an emotional mayhem
Never lose hope. As a mother, you should never lose hope that your child or children will recover one day. This is because your child may find the help they need to recover in their darkest hour. They may lose friends or have strained relationships with you or other relatives or push everybody away. They can lose all their assets and possessions or jobs and cause irreversible havoc. However, you should be hopeful that they will change regardless of the level of addiction.
Rose May is an works as a counselor in a drug addiction treatment clinic, you can get additional information by visiting her website www.alaphaaddictiontreatment.com