Here’s a public service announcement for parents of kids who are old enough to tell you they wish they were never born, but too young to realize the horrors of heading into their third workplace status meeting of the day: you’re lame.
It’s nothing personal. And you most certainly aren’t alone. Billions of parents around the world are in the same boat, and it’s completely unavoidable. Simply being a parent means that once kids move on from Dora the Explorer and Barney the Dinosaur, you’ll get smacked with the lame label for about the next decade (if not longer).
What’s more, you should be rather proud of this designation. It’s like making it around the sun enough times in life to get your first grey hair. It’s a badge of honor. However…
There are times when even the most enlightened parent wants a temporary escape from Lameville, and to see the look of awe and, indeed, surprise in their child’s eyes when they reveal that, yes, the same person who reads ingredients at the grocery store and watches cable news shows is, in fact, not entirely lame. At least not all the time.
And one of the easiest, best and indeed most memorable ways to achieve this mini-miracle of momentary coolness is by holding your child’s next birthday on a party bus. Here are the key reasons why:
Safety
It’s safe and kid-friendly, and party busses are driven by professionals (i.e. not the friend-of-a-friend who drove a van 15 years ago and assumes they know how to handle an actual bus).
Space
There’s plenty of room for your child and his or her friends. It’s like a clubhouse on wheels, complete with music and cool lights.
Amenities
You can stock a party bus with all kinds of snacks, beverages and of course, a cake.
Safe Ride Home
You can have a party bus pick-up and drop-off each party goer at their door. While the kids frankly may not care about this, you’ll probably bring tears of gratitude to the faces of their parents.
Entertainment
It’s incredibly fun! The journey becomes the destination. There are no line-ups, and yes, there is a bathroom.
Affordable
It’s affordable – especially compared to renting a party room at a restaurant, or booking a few hours at a skating rink.
Unique
Your child’s birthday will be the talk of the school because of how unique and different it was compared to everyone else’s birthday. It’s not every day that kids get to hang out on a party bus!
The Bottom Line
Look, we’d love to say that holding your child’s next birthday in a party bus will liberate you permanently from Lame Island. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. You’re a parent. Your path to lame-dom started the moment your doctor said “Well, I have some news about those tests….” And it’s not going to end until your children have kids of their own. But between now and then, getting a temporary Get Out of Lame free card is a major win, and booking a party bus will certainly help you earn one.