As the mother (or father) of the bride, you have a very important job. You are a guide, a sage, and more importantly, a banker. It’s up to you to guide your daughter through this time and make sure she doesn’t drain your account… Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful and so you need to do all you can to help the young couple make it the best wedding possible.
You need to get this out of the way first. Your daughter is going to be extremely excited and will have loads of thoughts running through her mind about what she wants. Expectation management is always needed to take her down a peg or two. It may seem cruel, but big fairy-tale weddings aren’t often in people’s budgets. Let her know how much you can afford (you might need to be with the groom’s family too, if you’re splitting the cheque). This will affect everything from food to the guest list and so is important to get it out of the way first.
Just a side note: Don’t try and take control. You are here as a guide, like I said earlier. You might want this cake or that dress, but remember you had your turn; it’s your daughter’s now.
Drill Sargent Mother
Ever seen Full Metal Jacket? You need to become R. Lee Emery and be the first line of defence. Wedding guests are extremely annoying and your daughter and soon-to-be husband don’t want to have to deal with endless questions and queries. Before, during, and after the wedding and reception, people will be pestering the bride and groom about mundane idiocies (normally regarding if they can bring their kids). Take over the mantle of responsibility: become their receptionist, answer the questions, divert the ones you don’t know and generally keep your daughters’ mind free so she can plan and relax. You want this to be a happy time, not stressful. Never be afraid to loose the Emery and tell the more annoying guests where they can go with their questions … if you catch my drift.
Full Metal Jacket 2
Drill Sargent Mother is needed again and this time she must contain her own daughter: or ‘Bride-zilla – which is a term I have come to love. Your daughter will be stressing out about everything, no matter how well you deflect the pointless guests and help out with the jobs. The Mother of the Bride is the only person who can tame the beast. You’ve been through it and should know the right words to say to calm her down so that she can enjoy one of the most special times in her life.
A Parting Gift
If you have money left (or perhaps your daughter is old enough to afford the wedding herself), then you should put the money to good use. It could go towards their honeymoon spending money or a deposit on a new house. You could even take a portion of the soon-to-be wed couples’ hair and send it off to be made into a diamond (or two – one for both of them) as the ultimate sign of their eternal love. This diamond idea is also good if the groom comes to you needing help with the engagement ring.
Whatever you decide to do for this wedding, remember to stay calm and everyone else will be calm with you. You, the mother of the bride-zilla are the lynchpin for the whole operation; remember that.