4 Tips For Divorcing With Children


When a couple gets married, buys a house, and has kids together, the last thing that they expect is that they are going to eventually divorce one day.  If this once happy couple decides that they are no longer able to make the relationship work, it can go one of two ways.  Either they amicably decide to part ways and remain friends, or things are so bad that they can’t reach an agreement together and breaking up is the only solution.  Although neither way is always easy, it’s definitely preferable to being unable to even stay in the same room as the other.

When you throw children into the equation things can get even more challenging.  In order to make sure that you don’t give them long-term emotional damage, here are some of the best tips to help you along the way.

Be Honest And Open With The Children

Rather than trying to hide things or sweep things under the rug, it’s important to bring everything out into the open with full transparency.  When you try to hide the facts or paint a pretty picture rather than just being authentic, you’re doing them a disservice.

If they’re going to be mature and emotionally intelligent people later in life they must know how to handle challenging situations by being confronted with them.  Explaining that divorce occurs when two people aren’t able to communicate or feel romantic about each other anymore is key.  They don’t need to know all of the tiny details but should know that this is final.  Giving them any false hopes isn’t good for their well-being. 

Consider Family Mediation

If things are difficult and there is a lot of tension in the house surrounding this, then you may want to consider bringing in a mediator.  This makes it possible for everyone to have a spot on the floor for their voice to be heard.

A mediator doesn’t pass any judgment, but instead, is there to help everyone identify their feelings and communicate effectively amongst each other.

Don’t Talk Badly About The Other Parent

Even though it may be tempting to trash talk the other parent to the kids, it’s not a good idea.  When you feel these urges, try to talk to a friend.

Trash talking the other parent, even if you’re completely right will only create distance between the children and their parents, making them feel like they have to choose one over the other.

Try To Maintain The Same Routine

Since divorce is a big change for kids, it’s important to try to keep everything else as normal as possible.  Maintain their routines and don’t change anything too dramatically.  A slow and gradual change is ideal.