While there are plenty of families out there who remain intact, there are also plenty of families who will eventually go through a divorce. Regardless of what time in your life or the lives of your children this takes place in, it can be challenging and difficult to navigate. But when your children are little, there are a number of other issues that you have to deal with and figure out together, which can be challenging for couples that find it hard to get along now. So to help ensure that your children don’t have to suffer because of your divorce, here are three tips for talking with your ex about child custody issues.
Realize That It’s Not About Either Of You
Although some marriages end amicably, there are a large amount of divorces that leave couples feeling hurt, betrayed, angry, and vengeful. In situations like this, managing child custody issues can get nasty. But even if you’re feeling negatively toward your ex, Kate Bayless, a contributor to Parents.com, shares that you and your ex should both do your best to realize that custody dealings are not about either of you but are about your kids. If you can both keep your children and their best interest in the forefront of your mind, it should make divorce proceedings go much smoother.
Try To Not Leave The Decision Up To The Courts
Because many marriages end at least in part to you as a married couple not being able to get along or find common ground together, it can be hard to try to do with regarding your divorce proceedings. And although you can leave decisions up to the court, this should be seen as a worst-case-scenario. According to Findlaw.com, having the court as your decision maker means that everything’s now out of your hands and whatever the court decides will happen. So in order for you to try to find a middle ground that both sides can be happy with, try your best to come up with solutions that won’t leave the decision up to the court.
Be Honest About Child Support
When speaking to your ex about child custody, you’ll likely have to handle child support dealings as well. Depending on the financial status of each party, talking about child support can be dicey. But when you’re doing this, Thom Patterson, a contributor to CNN, advises that you be honest and forgiving with each other, within reason. If you’re the parent needing to pay child support, make sure you’re always doing your best to financially support your child and being open and communicative if your finances are strapped for a while. If you’ll soon be speaking with your ex about child custody and your divorce, consider using the tips mentioned above to ensure this conversation is productive and civil. dunhid