Divorce can be a disappointing experience. When something ends that you had hoped would last forever, it can tear your confidence apart. Going through the legal process of divorce paired with the emotional repercussions can leave you feeling defeated. Getting back into the dating game again can be downright daunting.
You may find yourself wondering if you know how to have a conversation with a stranger anymore. Do you talk about your divorce? What if you don’t like each other? What if you like them, but they don’t like you? If you end up liking someone and it turns into something more serious, how can you be sure it won’t end in disappointment again?
Let go of all those fears. Great dates and healthy relationships are entirely possible after divorce. Here are some of the best tips for you to have a successful experience.
Don’t Project Your Ex Onto Your New Partner
After disappointment like divorce, it’s easy to find yourself falling into patterns of believing that all people are the same. You may start to self-sabotage before you even realize what’s happening.
However, your ex’s wrongdoings are not your new partner’s fault. It’s important that you start with a fresh and clean slate. If you can’t seem to stop assuming the worst of the new person in your life, then you may want to consider taking a break until you’re more ready to start dating again.
Don’t Rush Yourself
A lot of recently divorced people think that they’ve failed in some way. You may feel like you’ve got something to be ashamed about when you tell people that you’re divorced.
However, it’s ok to feel this way for a while. Even though it’s far from the truth, feelings of helplessness are normal in the beginning. Take some time to re-learn how to be yourself again and live outside of your marriage. There’s no need to force yourself to date again if you’re simply not ready.
Be Honest With The People You Get Involved With
It’s important that you be upfront with whoever you decide to date. If you’re not looking for anything serious yet, then it’s important that you’re straightforward with everyone about that. Not being honest could lead to a rebound relationship which results in someone getting hurt.
As long as you’re clear about your intentions from the beginning, you should be able to avoid unnecessary feelings getting hurt.
Be Open Minded
When we get out of a marriage, it’s easy to find ourselves feeling like we are experts on what we want and don’t want. However, it’s’ important to remain open-minded. You may be convinced that you think you want a certain thing; however, it could result in you overlooking someone potentially wonderful. Have standards set in place but don’t corner yourself into being so closed-minded that you miss out on life.