When you decide to get married and have children with someone, the only thing on your mind is a beautiful future. The last thing that you’re thinking about is how it might end one day. The idea of your family that you wanted so badly coming to an end can be devastating.
When you’re going through a legal battle, sometimes it’s a challenge just to get yourself out of bed in the morning. When you add having to take care of kids into the equation, it can be one of the most significant stresses that a person can go through. There are all sorts of worries going through your mind, and you may even start to blame yourself.
You may worry that you’re going to ruin your children’s lives, and wonder whether you’ll ever find anyone to be with again. However, these are all perfectly natural feelings and part of the process. Having a divorce with children does have a light at the end of the tunnel. Here are some of the best tips to see you through to the other side.
Have An Honest Conversation
Sit down with your kids and explain to them exactly what’s happening. No need to say that mommy is going on a trip, or make up any sort of excuses. The more honest that you are with children, the more they can start to move forward and so can you.
There’s no need to hash out details, but you should be clear that mommy and daddy aren’t happy together or in love anymore, so they are going to get a divorce. Make sure that you reassure them that your love for them won’t change and their lives will continue to be as normal as possible.
Don’t Badmouth The Other Parent
Even though emotions can be running high during a divorce, you should try to keep yourself in check. You may want to call your soon to be ex all the names in the book. However, it’s not healthy or productive for your children to badmouth the other parent.
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Talk to a friend instead of your kids about things that are bothering you.
Don’t Date New People Too Quickly
Even though the disappointment of divorce can make you anxious to get back out and start dating again, it’s best for everyone if you took things slowly.
Your ex may be able to use this against you, and it may be counterproductive for the kids emotional healing. Give yourself time to grieve and do some self-reflection about what you’ve learned so you can apply it to your next relationship.